“If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job”

Thank you, Woody Allen, for that gem. I can relate.

Blog's lookin' awkward, and I apologize for that, haha. It badly needs to be re-designed for professionalism (and honestly I couldn't even read the white type on black anymore.)

I haven't officially written anything about my thesis film I'm making, mostly cause there's TOO MUCH to write about. My friend Jackie writes about the filming process HERE.

I spent 11+ hours editing it in a stuffy windowless room yesterday. Ahh the bright stuff upon which we build our futures. I seriously struggle with insomnia this semester. I think I've developed a permanent eye twitch from staring so hard at computer screens.

As I walked home from the editing lab last night I felt seriously crazy. I was hypersensitive to every sight and sound, like I was editing REAL LIFE in my head.

Me: "I think I need to go home and eat something"

Cut to 3 second Mid shot of Jackie listening

Jackie: "You're sure you don't want hot chocolate?"

Cut to Over the shoulder shot of me considering hot chocolate

Me: "No, I'm gonna make eggs."

MUSIC. My favorite thing. I started editing to music yesterday and it just makes all the difference. This is a moody, dramatic sort of film, so I had to comb my music library for any leftover emo songs.

Two songs I've settled on, (if I can get the rights):

DLZ by TV on the Radio

Hm.

JUST realized this was used in the TV Show Vampire Diaries. Thank you youtube commenters for ruining my song choice. Am trying to not let this affect my decisions....

The Funeral by Band of Horses

I am also CONSIDERING using Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap for a little "redemption montage" I'm cutting together for the final scene.

BUT I'm worried that 500 Days of Summer may forever own this song the way Juno now owns everything by the Moldy Peaches.

The last thing you want during a redemptive montage is some know-it-all in the audience turning to all his buddies and going "Isn't this the 500 Days of Summer Song?"

And then probably talking about how he was a fan of the band WAY before they ever got asked to be in the soundtrack.

Listen and tell me what you think.

And finally here's some poor quality stills I've been meaning to post forever.

For a while I was going to paint these and work them into animated credits a la Spiderman 2, but I think I'm gonna go another route.

And...that's all for now, haha.

Alabama, Arkansas.

Kidding. Just Arkansas. Many props to Edward Sharpe for writing me a personalized homesickness anthem though...

Because we are carefree, unattached college students, my friend Bridgette and I up and ditched our Spring break plans to drive home to Arkansas for a week. It was a good decision, despite the fifteen plus hours in the car each direction. A quiet, kinda lazy Spring break was all I could handle / afford this year. And Arkansas in early Spring is so worth it, check it out:

Yes. We have chickens.

The family biz....White Buffalo Resort

Attempting some trendy food photography on St. Patrick's Day...I just dont think Corned Beef is all that photogenic.

"There are No Mistakes in Art."

Artsy Fartsy ramblings ahead, watch out.

Voila some spring break work that got finished this week:

And another in progress:

"Digital Fine Art" is one of the classes I'm taking this semester. I know. In what world / major but mine are you required to take a class like that. Please console any jealousy with the thought that I'll never make any money. But see folks, despite my major, I'm a bit of a skeptic where computers and art cross over.

There are so many computer applications out there that allow you to slap a filter on a photo, step back and call yourself an artist. Seriously, its easy to do and in some cases pretty convincing. In the past its been a bit hard for me to consider mousing around on a screen true "art" the same way taking a paintbrush in hand might be.

I wanted to give this class a shot though, and so far I haven't been too disappointed. Photoshop CS5 offers an impressive amount of painting and brush options, with really great blending capabilities like you would be capable of with watercolors. What I've done so far has been fun, easy, (maybe a little TOO easy) and artistically satisfying.

My complaints? Once I finished that top orange-y portrait, the thing I found most disturbing was the lack of mistakes, brush strokes, rough edges. The undo button takes care of any line that seems out of place.

The art teacher I worked with in St. Louis always would always tell the kids: "There are no mistakes in Art." I love that. Its so true. Stuff you first view as "Mistakes" really become part of your creation and the way you express it.

Anyway. Sorry for the sermon. Any art history majors out there wanna school me on the true nature of Art?

Partying.

What can I say...I like to take pictures of people having a good time. I was looking at older posts and realized I never posted photos from this year's trip to the Hofbrau House for Katey's Birthday. Technical Note: as my camera gets older and more beaten up, I tend to lay into the editing a lot heavier to make up for the lack in quality.

Anyway. Hofbrau has so much atmosphere.

On My Plate.

Here's some of the things I'm working on so far this semester:

A project for my upper level Animation class- a kid's game that teaches you how to pray the Rosary. I did it in photoshop, but I wanted it to look like cut paper.

Let's go Barons! I got to do some game photography, as well as a re-shoot for the team. We turned out some really fun shots.

This semester I've started doing some marketing and design for "Love Revealed", a group on campus aiming to promote chastity, real love and Theology of the Body. This flier is one of six I designed for their Valentine's Day campaign, which took the "Prayer to Mary by De Grandmaison" and broke it up. Really beautiful prayer, fun project.

Maybe the biggest thing I'm working on this semester I don't even have anything to show for yet. I'm filming a ten minute movie for an Independent Digital Filmmaking Class. Here's the Sony AIU Camera sitting on my desk after shooting a really rainy scene this afternoon, haha.

Badly composited child jumping around in a playground- techniques learned in Digital Photography and Fine Art, haha.

Another work in progress for the same class.

Promotional Media for a seminar going on tonight at Franciscan- speakers from Varsity Catholic are coming to talk to campus about...well....Athletics and Mission Work.

Here's the 8 foot long banner hanging up in the JC, haha.

Let me start by apologizing to anyone who has been within a 20 foot radius of me in the past three weeks.

Seriously, I'm sorry.

In the past couple weeks I have become one of those people who does nothing but complain about how busy and miserable they are. I hate those people. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is going to be my ugliest semester. This sucks because 1) It's my final semester in college, (and supposed to be fun?? Right?) and 2) A lot of what I'm doing is the result of a recently discovered error in my transcripts. (Say what? Transferring between four different schools makes for complication and leaves you open to constant re-interpretation of your class credits?)

I had no idea.

Anyway.

You know how people always talk about writer's block? Well I submit that it happens to Artists too, "Artist's Block". I know this because over the past couple weeks, I have felt like a creative black hole. Idea after idea, inspiration after inspiration would come funneling into my mind but NOTHING would come back out.

So Jackie, (my primary sounding board / substance supplier through these hard times) did what she does best the other day and punched a hole in my drama, encouraging me to take my sketchbook into the chapel and give that talent back to the Lord rather than relying so heavily on myself.

Needless to say I'm much more peaceful.

Participate, don't anticipate.

It may look like I have spent the first ten days of 2011 making origami cranes and plunking away off-key on my new ukulele, but that is hardly all I've been up to....

Actually, yeah, that is about the size of it.


My parents insisted I look up this guy: (Tiny Tim) ever since I started playing. Wish to God I hadn't.I'm trying not to let him ruin the whole instrument for me.

I haven't gotten around to New Year's Resolutions yet, and I'm beginning to think that might be a good thing. I typically make a way too specific list of "wills" and "will nots", half of which end up already broken by this point. The truth is, 2011 is supposed be a significant year for me.

In less than a week I head back to Franciscan to do what I've been trying to do for the past 5-ish years- FINISH COLLEGE. Whether for the sake of conversation, or because they're genuinely curious, it becomes customary for people at this point to start asking you questions. They all basically can be lumped into the category of "What's next?"

What IS next? That's a good question. Cause whatever I resolve to do now is going to affect some bigger decisions that need to happen this year.

This time though, I just feel differently.
In the past I've sweated over "the next step". Wherever or whatever that step was going to be.
I've spent so many of my present life moments trying to 'engineer' my future. Trying to get all my ducks in a row so I could be perfectly prepared for anything and everything that comes along. Participating in activities I think will reflect positively to some unknown future entity that may come along to judge my worthiness. Putting expiration dates and age limits on myself, holding up this invisible measuring stick to make sure I fit where I imagine I should.

I'm realizing though, that for all my scheming and crafting, few things ever go as planned.

I met this girl back in the beginning of December, two days before she got in the car crash that killed her. We drove out to a mutual friend's party in Pittsburgh together on a Saturday night, in my car. She told me all about where she'd been in the past year and what her plans for this upcoming semester at Franciscan were going to be. I drove past the accident that killed her Monday morning and didn't recognize her car.

Its been a month since that happened and I still don't know what to do with it exactly. But its made me take a closer look at the people I care about, and appreciate every day I wake up and they're still in this world.

I digress.
I guess I'm realizing that as tough as its going to be to find a job, and as uncertain as I am about my location in 6 months, and how all these loose ends that sometimes resemble talents are ever supposed to come together to produce a future-- it really is in God's hands. Only. And right now, the courageous thing to do might just be to sit back and wait for His word on the matter.

So I have one semester left as a college student. And rather than missing out on it cause I'm too busy looking ahead, my goal is to really live that semester, and trust that God has things planned for that semester that He hasn't let me in on yet. He'll let me know when the time is right.

My resolutions are these:

1) To be honest
2) To choose happiness
3) And to live passionately.

I think I'll be fine.

2010 in Photos

You can tell what point I'm at in my 2011 Journey...I'm still feeling the need to wrap up 2010 before I get around to resolving anything for 2011. I'll let you know when I decide how 2011 is gonna go, haha.

JANUARY

Undeniably the snowiest, most miserable winter of my life. It marks the first winter of me ever putting shovel to sidewalk in attempts to find my car, first cancelled day of school... Seriously. I am doing this last winter in Ohio and then never again, so help me God.

FEBRUARY

We took Olympic Hockey very seriously in my house... especially where Canada was concerned.

MARCH

My mission trip to Ecuador. Oh my goodness. I am super hard-pressed to pick only one photo to sum up this whole trip.

APRIL

Bonding with Claire in preparation for her graduation....

MAY

I got inducted to my household, one of the best things that has happened to me during my almost two year journey at Franciscan...

JUNE

There is nothing like the river in June....

JULY

One of my hinted-at, but never before seen pictures from Kyla and Matthew's photo shoot. What happened was similar to the way many things go in my artistic life... I got really frustrated while editing them and set them away for 7+ months.... hahaha. I may finally be able to stand re-examining them at this point.

AUGUST

Eamon and I went to Little Rock to see my favorite-band-ever-at-fifteen-years-old.... Rooney.

SEPTEMBER

I turned twenty three with much less angst than turning 22. :) This was a rainy, muggy, beer-y photo taken at Irish Fest in Pittsburgh.

OCTOBER

Mom and Dad sign on for a weekend of Franciscan fun. :)

NOVEMBER

Voila downtown Brooklyn, NY, on my first trip ever to New York City, days before Thanksgiving and shortly after being thrown into an impromptu Christmas Card photo shoot on the rooftop of Grassroots Films.

DECEMBER

Family. Nuff Said. :)