Ten Reasons I Quit Blogging.

Oh, my poor abandoned blog.

Ten Reasons I Quit Blogging:

1) Not posting anything on your blog for eight months makes you feel like you have to come back with a BANG.  As the time increases, so does the pressure to "make it good." I'll think about writing something and go- "Really? THAT'S what you're gonna come back from an eight month hiatus with??"

2) Until this week? I haven't had internet in my house. Side note: no real TV either. The dark ages called, they want their lifestyle back. The Olympics are happening soon, right?

3) My [not-so-new-anymore] job, while phenom, requires my backside to be seated in front of a computer screen for eight-ish hours daily.  Perhaps it should have been evident, but I feel somebody could have taken the time during four years of graphic design classes to explain that this was the lifestyle I'd be embracing.

4) Needless to say, when five o'clock rolls around every day, I exit my office with all the grace and poise of a wild dog. Spending my free time staring at a screen for any reason just doesn't appeal to me.

5) I didn't stop having thoughts all of the sudden. But it was a major goal this year to spend less time on morbid introspection and go make some waves in the world instead. Success, I think.

6) Portland is wild. As in there's been a lot to get out and experience. And no, I don't really live in Portland.  Ergo, it just takes me longer to get to-and-from all my wild experiences.

7) I'm actually out of reasons at six. Ten was ambitious. Everything from this point will just be complaints.

8) Like, when design becomes your job, it no longer counts as a fun side pastime. Everyone told me this would happen.

9) Blogging about things other than design always feels pretentious to me.  Things like my life.  The voyeur in me loves reading blogs that detail the happenings in other people's lives, but blogging about my own always feels mad pretentious.

10) It did actually take me months to feel secure enough in my new job / life / experience in the Pacific northwest to make any firm statements about "what things are like" for me.  During my first six months here, I'd feel genuinely stuck for words whenever anyone asked me how it was going. I didn't really know yet. There was so much NEWNESS going on, I could barely take it all in, much less categorize or label it.

If you're curious? It's going really well.  There's been more health, more growth, more stability, more creativity happening in my world than I know what to do with. And it doesn't always feel GOOD or comfortable, but it feels VERY right.  And I'm so blessed by it. I'll post some of my best pictures soon to show why 2012 has been an (unblogged) adventure.

Go West.

My mom could have absolutely done the Oregon trail thing. Seriously. She and I packed up my Saturn on January 4th and headed in a general North-Westernly direction with the purpose of dropping me off at my new life in Washington State.

Per the mental rules of my "2012 One picture Per Day" endeavor, I can't post more than...well....one picture per day. But that doesn't mean I can't showcase some of the extras here:

The car top carrier I bought began to fall apart after less than 2 hours on the road. Ergo- ratcheting straps. And lots of them.

Favorite States we crossed- Utah and Wyoming hands down. No offense Idaho, but your landscape along route 80 could do with a little sprucing.

Wyoming had such cheap gas! $2.65 was the lowest we saw.

My mom totally ate a Buffalo Burger here.

We drove through the Columbia Gorge at sunrise on our final stretch through Oregon. It was my turn at the wheel so I begged my mom to at least shoot a couple pictures for me. Merits a trip back for sure.

2011 in Photos

I could really echo my friend Sarah in attesting that, 2011, you were a mighty disjointed year for me. 2011 was characterized by periods of extreme activity contrasted with extreme boredom. Certain months were totally packed with different happenings, while for others I can't for the life of me recall what I did for 30 days. Some extreme accomplishment, balanced with weeks of helplessly frozen frustration while I searched for the next move. Nevertheless, an important year! Reminisce with me!

JANUARY

March for Life in DC for the first time!

Well known: Christmas is my first favorite holiday. Less well-known: My second favorite holiday is in late January and it celebrates a pair of Canadian lovebirds named Ken and Mary. And Claire was there!

FEBRUARY / MARCH

Only too true: February and March are kind of a blur for me. I know I made a movie. While also enrolled in 18 class credits and acting as assistant co-ordinator of my household. My memories have become this one long streak of scribbled notes on the back of scripts and hauling a 30 pound tripod all over campus while filming in every weather condition Eastern Ohio could throw at me. Thank God I have a copy of the DVD and this ONE and only photo of me and Jackie filming under an umbrella taken by a friend with a cellphone. Proves the whole thing actually happened.

Ahem. Filming The Pardoning. He looks how I felt.

APRIL

My two dear ones turn 21 within a day of each other. Inciting even MORE reasons to drink in my on-campus apartment. Cause we really needed them.

Easter at Franciscan. So Epic. And Claire was there!

Final Household retreat!

MAY

My student film ENDS and "premieres" and I mostly hold it together.

BFT officially PAINTS our common room in time for me to say goodbye to household and I mostly hold it together.

Do what I've been attempting to do for FIVE years now and GRADUATE WITH MY BACHELORS. MOSTLY HOLD IT TOGETHER.

JUNE

Spend my first few weeks as a free, fully educated woman of the world picking berries at a local farm for $5 a bucket with my little brother. Welcome home to Arkansas.

JULY

Fave city in the world for the Fourth: the Lou.

I do NOT know why the date reads 2006 on this picture. I really dont.

AUGUST

August was like a year in itself.

VSC Reunion meets Ocean City, Maryland.

Wild times ensue.

Only topped by a ten day trip back to California for my cousin Katie's wedding that still makes my heart expand on mere memory.

Pizza and so much more. With this crowd.

SEPTEMBER

I awkwardly teach, turn 24, and look for serious employment while in Mountain Home, Arkansas. Here illustrated is one of those three things.

OCTOBER

Soak up local culture in Marion and Baxter County. Hit up St. Louis once again for Six Flag's Halloween Fright Fest. Decide life in Arkansas is not so bad ONLY to be offered a full time job in Washington State.

NOVEMBER

One month in Washington does not a Pacific Northwestern-er make. I did get to see some mountains over Thanksgiving though.

More to come. I feel confident in that much.

DECEMBER

Home. Christmas. Family. In Arkansas! Despite all evidence pointing against it, we stayed home together for Christmas this year and had a damn good time doing it. Here we are hiking near the Buffalo River a few days before New Years.

God's Will & The One that Didn't Get away.

Pinch me, somebody.

A week ago Thursday, I accepted a job that has all the earmarks of being "The One." The Dreamy McDream Job.

(Please indulge me a little Seattle-based humor even though I'm really not moving to Seattle...)

In all seriousness: it seems to literally be the job I have been describing throughout my past two years at Franciscan University, whenever anyone would ask me what I wanted to do with my degree.

"I don't know, I would love to find a small Catholic company with a message I really believed in that I could do media and marketing for." -Direct quote from me, throughout my past two years at Franciscan University, whenever anyone would ask me what I wanted to do with my degree.

Please believe that I am not gloating here, I'm in shock still, and more than a little humbled.

The desperation most Americans are feeling for want of work has never been more obvious to me. The enthusiasm and well wishes from my colleagues, friends and family have been at a level that five years ago might have been reserved for a new baby. To be handed an opportunity to work in my field, for a company I believe in, for a fair salary, seems almost too good to be true.

I've spent the past week working myself into a quiet froth of standard new-job anxiety ranging from dilemmas like:

"Mom, I have NO dress pants. Absolutely NONE."
to
"Do I admit that I own a copy of the Divine Office, but simply find it too frustrating to properly learn it? OR, do I spend this next week googling my way to expertness and pretend I've been practicing this Universal devotion for years?"(Okay. Maybe that one is only standard in extremely Catholic office settings.)

The night after I accepted the position, I went to a Halloween party where kept people asking me: "What did you do? Literally. What did you DO? Where did you look, what prayers were you saying, What did you DO?!?"

That's the question that's been bothering me for the past week: What DID I do to deserve this?

I think the answer is that I don't.

(That doesn't mean what it sounds like.)

I had several "near misses" in the past six months of relentless job-hunting, where an opportunity would come around and LOOK for all intents and purposes like the spitting image of God's Will in my life. Retract that time frame. The past two years at least have been a real lesson in the fact that what I THINK should be His will for me, isn't always. That God's Will may not come in the timing I expect or the packaging I think it should.

To me, being offered this job is clearer proof than ever that He HAS a plan, and He will continue to let me in on it on a need-to-know basis.

Revelation part II is that in my co-mingled celebration and anxiety, I'm overlooking the fact that a job like this IS NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT ME. I wanted it specifically because it wasn't. I'm taking it because I believe spreading Capital "T" Truth to my fellow human beings is the most important pursuit I could choose to devote my time to. The fact that I will benefit with creative satisfaction and a roof over my head while pursuing it, is total proof of God's boundless generosity to His children.

I'm an instrument in this role, and all fear abates when I remember it.

Anybody reading this who may still be feverishly searching for work: all I can say is that your triumphs and disappointments are not the game itself, but all part of His bigger plan.

Make sure you return the favor and remind ME of that fact as well from time to time.

Curious about my new digs in the Pacific Northwest?!?

Saint Luke Productions!

Go Check 'em out!!

Motion Graphics Demo Reel

Yeah, yeah. In a way its just the same stuff I keep posting again and again, BUT here's hoping you're intrigued enough to click and watch. Enjoy!

California Photo Teaser

I am safely back from a wildly successful trip to my home state, against all odds and despite some verrry preventative measures by my car. (Note for the future: letting a car with existing electrical issues bake in Airport surface parking for nine days? Poor choice.) I am facing major jet lag, exhaustion, impending responsibility (roughly 36 hours til I start my new temporary job) all rounded out by the fact that I'm just really not ready to be back in Arkansas.

Ergo, I've spent my afternoon drinking tea and looking at vacation pictures.
You can look too if you like:

For the un-initiated: these are gumballs from my gumball ice cream found exclusively at the Scoop Deck in Dana Point Harbor. Yes, i spit them in a cup. It's not gross. Cause I said so. Those of you I saw: I can't even EXPRESS how happy you make me. I'm a lucky girl. Those of you I didn't see (and I know there's a couple...): I'll be back. Sooner rather than later. :)

July- Official Depressing & Violent Movie Month

July is Official Depressing & Violent Movie Month, and I have therefore done my unflinching part by renting only the most gut-wrenching flicks known to modern man- wait, what's that you say??? July is NOT Official Violent & Depressing Movie Month??? WHAT have I been watching??!??

Correction: July is NOT Official Depressing & Violent Movie Month, but it may feel that way on the Olwell family's Netflix queue. As a family, our movie taste is a little offbeat, and seems to run in patterns, though I'm not sure whats motivating this particular run of films.

Perhaps its the brutal July heat. Perhaps we're subconsciously attempting to keep cool by shedding many tears. Maybe we're trying to remind ourselves that things could be much worse in our lives, ("Yes, there may be sweat dripping into my eyes after a mere walk to the mailbox, but at least I've never had to use my body weight as leverage against a rock in order to break my own arm...")

Here's some reviews in order to help you create or avoid a similar string of movies as you choose. I'm aware none of you may WANT to see any of these movies, but in case you do, watch for spoilers.

1) The Stoning of Soraya M.

It is a testament to my sanitized Western upbringing that I somehow believed this movie was referring to a METAPHORICAL stoning. Not the case. Based on a true story, the title character is stoned to death in a 20 minute long bloodbath after being falsely convicted of adultery. I have never seen anything so disturbing in my entire life. My mother and I were both physically nauseated for two days.

The graphic violence should be no surprise, seeing as the creative crew behind The Passion of The Christ is primarily responsible for this film, but I actually found Stoning harder to watch. If you watch The Passion as a Christian, you can find the meaning behind the gore; Stoning is a depiction of sheer evil and nothing else.

Soraya Manutchehri was stoned in 1986, the execution as depicted is supposedly true to practice. But I have a hard time discerning where the line should be in portraying truth versus glorifying violence. I wonder whether a documentary might have been more respectful than a dramatized rendition of this story, (which wraps up with a Hollywood cliche near-escape car chase? Really?) However, documentary doesn't always pack the punch needed to shock people into caring about an issue. I'm not offering an answer, just advice- don't watch if you've recently eaten.

2) 127 Hours

Danny Boyle, you're my new favorite.

How he manages to take what should be a one-man horrorshow and infuse it with humor, pathos and hope is beyond me. James Franco is awesome- no need to belabor that point.

If I had to criticize anything, I almost feel like Boyle makes this story too accessible. He softens the experience of being trapped alone in a crevice with upbeat music, edgy cuts, and artistic flashbacks. There's a scene where Franco pretends to "interview himself" while berating the choices that led him to be stuck alone in the desert unbeknownst to anyone else in the world. Its a funny scene- (overlayed with a studio audience-inspired laugh track) but while I laughed along, I couldn't help but thinking: "Um, NONE of this is funny. I highly doubt Aron Ralston found one moment of this situation even remotely funny. If this ever happened to me, I would probably never laugh again..."

Even still, I'm eternally grateful to the Passion of the Christ crew for sitting this one out.

3) Another Year

I am typically not a fan of so called "character-based movies". I like plot. I like for things to change and resolve and for lessons to be learned by all. That's, of course, never the way life goes. We do after all watch movies to escape from reality.

Another Year looks at an isolated slice of life among the friends and relatives of one middle-aged married couple in England. I don't know whether to credit superb acting or writing, but the characters crafted in this movie are at a caliber of authenticity not often achieved. You KNOW people like this, you're probably related to some of them. You might not return some of their phonecalls, or wince when they invite you out for drinks. You've maybe given up trying to change them and can only sit back and hope for the best.

The ending is one of those painful cop-outs that makes you want to throw pillows at the screen in betrayal asking the filmmakers WHY in the world they would spend an hour and a half making you care about these people only to leave you so unsure and unsatisfied.

True to life.

4) I Am Number 4

Its pretty depressing that this got made.

5) Sophie Scholl: The Final Days

By the time this one showed up in our mailbox, we'd sort of noted the pattern. And sort of revolted. Both those comments were made:

"You're right, a concentration camp movie would be so appropriate right about now."

"What's this now, the Stoning of Sophie S.?"

Sophie Scholl turned out NOT to be a concentration camp movie, but a film about The White Rose- a movement of German University students who secretly wrote and distributed Anti-Nazi propaganda. The film takes you through the interrogation process of a 21 year old woman arrested a few weeks before the Allies liberated Germany from the Third Reich. Not a whole lot of action here, but plenty of ideas to chew on.

Another true story, it heavily emphasizes the importance of free speech, the value of ideas, and the danger a country puts itself in when it violates those rights. Sophie, her brother Hans, and another friend are interrogated, sentenced and executed within a few days.

Of course.

Which month did you think it was?

Some quick takes:

7) The Lincoln Lawyer

Kinda meh. On the slow, predictable, "I don't really care what happens to these characters" side. I've never really bought what McConaghey's selling, even less so now. Have yet to see Ryan Phillippe in a movie where he DOESN'T play a whiny, rich, jerk.

8) The Fighter

Loved it. Christian Bale in the first hour is almost unrecognizable. It was fun to see Amy Adams in a tough-girl role. And Mark Wahlberg is as always, completely natural as the unassuming, blue-collar, small-town nice guy.

In other news, I plan on making August Official Hilarious & Uplifting Movie Month. Feel free to send me suggestions.